5 Helpful Habits for Better Parenting

My mom practiced a handful of habits in raising me and my brother, habits that shaped me deeply and that I find myself naturally practicing now as a father of three boys. You may want to consider adding one, or all five, of these habits to your parenting.1. Pray for the Day with Your Kids on the Drive to SchoolFrom Kindergarten until I got my drivers license, my mom drove me and my brother to school. Seconds after we pulled out of our driveway my mom would lead us in a short time of "praying for the day." Generally my mom would pray out loud first, then my brother or me would each articulate a short prayer for the day that stretched ahead of us, casting our dreams and fears on God's shoulders. Without even thinking about it, once I pull out of the driveway in the car with my kids I find myself leading us in this same prayer habit. I associate leaving the driveway with telling God what's in my heart.2. Tuck Your Kids Into BedNearly every night my mom tucked me into bed. This looked different every night, but it generally involved a short conversation, a prayer, and a hug or a kiss. Sometimes those tuck-ins turned into long, important conversations. Even as I got into my teenage years I found myself often asking to be tucked-in by my mom, she'd created a habit of me wanting to connect with her before bed. I tuck my boys into bed every night (except Sundays when I'm out late), and I hope this practice is creating a dynamic in our relationship that my boys want even in their teenage years. Sometimes I take 15 minutes to do this with them, sometimes I take 60 seconds, but it's an important ritual in our home that bonds me with my sons.3. Pray for Your Child's Future SpouseAlmost every night during those tuck-ins, my mom prayed for my future wife. She started doing this when I was super little, probably when I was a baby in a crib. We prayed about this together when I was 5 and when I was 15. This shaped in me a longing to find and marry a godly woman, and to have prayer drive the process. From early on, my mom formed in me a big vision of manhood and marriage (which I write about here). I do this regularly with my three sons, I often pray with them for their future wives and I talk to them about the kind of qualities to look for in a wife and the kind of qualities I desire them to develop as future husbands/dads. To this day my wife credits those old prayers as likely having had a big impact on her life growing up.4. Show Your Child It's Safe to Talk to You About AnythingThrough the above habits, and my mom's overall way of interacting with me, she created a culture where it felt safe to talk to her about anything. I felt this as a small boy, as a teenager navigating puberty, and as a high school student and college student navigating various temptations and challenges. My mom created a culture of safety and grace where no topic felt off limits, where it was easy to go to her with anything. None of my high school friends talked to their moms about the kind of things I talked to my mom about. Actually, most of my friends came to my mom to talk about what was going on in their life. I don't exactly know how my mom created this safe environment other than, no matter what, she always made me feel loved. I guess it was her unconditional love that did it. I'm seeking to do the same with my boys right now at ages 9, 7, and 5 so that when they're 19, 17, and 15 they feel like they can come to their dad with whatever is going on in their life.5. Prioritize One-on-One TimeRegularly my mom would take my brother or me out for what she called "special time," time to focus one-on-one with one of her sons. Sometimes it was just a trip to the grocery store together, other times it was doing something really special like seeing a movie together or going out to lunch together. This habit started when I was a small kid and continued into adulthood. My wife and I practice "special time" with our boys and they love it (my wife does it with more flair: Date Cards).Though my mom passed away two years ago, her legacy lives on through habits she built into me. Be intentional in the habits you practice in your parenting. I hope some of these ideas are helpful to you.