Practice a Ministry of Presence & Absence
Playing with my sons several years ago during a July of absence
All people, especially pastors, ought to enjoy the rhythm and wisdom of practicing a ministry of presence and a ministry of absence.
The best way to care for and influence a person is through your presence. Through being lovingly present to a person (or an entire congregation, or team, or division of your company, or to your family) you care for and influence that person in one-hundred seen and unseen ways. I do remember profound nuggets of wisdom, sermons, and bursts of insight from my pastor during my college years—but the center of his influence on me came from being in his presence in a variety of contexts over the course of four years. In ways I can and can’t explain, his presence shaped me. Jesus practiced a ministry of presence. The fountain that powered Jesus’ disciple-making was a ministry of presence—being present to, being with, his disciples in a thousand different contexts over the course of time. Presence through time, through the varied challenges and opportunities that arise, is how you will mostly profoundly shape people.
Jesus also practiced a ministry of absence. Jesus often pulled away from his disciples and from the crowds and from the noise. Jesus needed the refreshment that comes from taking a break from pouring into people so he could be poured into, communing alone with his Father. And Jesus knew his disciples needed his ministry of absence. Persons encounter an opportunity to grow in new ways when a loving leader who is primarily present to them, removes their presence for a season. It was formative for the 12 disciples to be in a caught in a storm in a small boat without Jesus there, it was formative for me to go off to college without the regular presence of my mom and dad, it is formative and healthy for my wife and I to have days absent of each other here and there, etc.
For nearly 12 years now I’ve practiced a ministry of presence and absence with my church. Since planting our church I’ve practiced a weekly sabbath (zero presence to the church sundown Friday-sundown Saturday), I’ve practiced an annual ministry of absence by clumping together vacation time and taking the month of July off (zero presence to the church during July), and I just returned from a three month sabbatical where I took extended time away to be refreshed and where the church had opportunity to expand in new ways without my presence.
A ministry of presence is so powerful, I hope you’re practicing and enjoying it. But don’t make the mistake of trying to be ever-present. That’s not healthy for you or others, and it’s not sustainable. Instead, practice a rhythm/ministry of presence and absence. This will look unique to your vocation, context, and personality. Sometime soon, carve out space for some absence and dream up some better rhythms of presence and absence.
PS. If interested, one of the ways I coach pastors is in forming Life-giving habits of work and rest, and in designing sabbaticals. + You can get on the waitlist for a 3 F's Cohort.