How to Imperfectly Disciple Your Kids, Part 4: Prayer

We're putting together a small toolbox of the core tools we need to imperfectly disciple our kids. These are the primary tools we need when our kids are infants, and these are the tools we'll continue to use when our kids are grown, having infants of their own, and still being shaped by our imperfect discipleship. Now that we have the tools of Definition & Relationship, Desire, and Presence, we come to our fourth tool: Prayer.Parenting is difficult. Parenting well is very difficult. We are in over our heads. We're busy and confused just trying to become healthy and whole adults ourselves, how are we to also raise kids who can become what we've not yet become ourselves? There's no way we can do this on our own. And that's the whole point. We're not doing this on our own.Perhaps the worst mistake you can make as a parent (at least it's the biggest mistake I make in my own parenting) is to attempt to disciple your kids by yourself/through your own strength. Remember our first tool, our definition of discipleship: "Transferring truth & love through relationship." You must embrace two realities of this definition: 1) You are not the most important relationship in your child's life, your child's relationship with God is uppermost 2) You are never alone in your disciple-making—God is with you and for you and it's through your partnership with the Trinity that you are transferring truth and love through relationship.So, if your child's relationship with God and your relationship with God is what matters most, we must depend on the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit to power our parenting. In other words, we must pray. For most of us prayer is the most neglected tool in our parenting, yet it's the most necessary, most powerful, most beautiful, and most freeing tool. We cannot transform our kid's hearts. But our Heavenly Father can transform our kids hearts. And our Heavenly Father is awake all night long to hear our hopes, hurts, questions, and requests for our kids....and he is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or imagine for our kids. He is able. We are not able. But he is able.That's the summary statement of this tool, of prayer: He is able, we are not able. And when we see clearly enough to embrace this humbling (but freeing!) reality, we do our best discipling. Our parenting becomes a serious yet relaxed partnership with the living God, an adventure of trusting our Perfect Father to use imperfect fathers and mothers to shape kids who follow Jesus.So, what do you do now? It's simple. Just pray. Talk to God. Talk to God about your kids and about what's going on inside of your heart.Pray for. Pray for your kids. Pray for your kids by name. Pray for your kids by current context, current struggles or opportunities they're facing. Pray for your kids by long-term desires you have for them. I regularly pray long-term goals/hopes I have for my kids: -That God would capture the unique hearts of each of my boys, shape them into godly men, and use them to make an eternal impact in this world according to their unique design -That God would give me a close, lifelong relationship with my three sons -That God would bring a wonderful wife into each of my boy's lives -Etc....Pray with. Pray with your kids. Make prayer a normal part of your relationship with your kids. I regularly pray with my boys when I walk them to school, when we're driving in the car, before we eat dinner, in our church services, when I tuck them in for bed at night, etc. Some of these prayers are just five seconds long, some of these prayers are a few minutes long. I suspect some of my best parenting happens when I feel the most tired or discouraged, and I simply bear my heart before God in the presence of my kids, revealing glimpses of my intimacy with and dependence on the Father.Pray when. Pray when...pray whenever, pray in all circumstances. Pray as a parent when you feel weak, strong, defeated, accomplished, bad, good, exhausted, energized, overwhelmed, in control, discouraged, encouraged, depressed, excited, etc. Every time is a good time to pray. No time is a bad time to pray. Your Father hears you, loves you, is eager to be in communion with you, is for you, and is able to do far more abundantly than all you ask or imagine. Wow.In fact, right now is a great time to stop reading and start applying this. Let us pray.