The Freedom of Limits

Our culture seduces us to push the limits, to become omnicompetent—able to do all things well. This path leads to frustration because it ignores who we really are and how life really works.The better path is to face and embrace your limits. When you embrace who you really are, the the life you really have, and the world as it really is, the result is freedom, creativity, and peace. A painter paints a great work of art not on a limitless canvas, but on a piece of parchment with defined measurements, say 30 x 40 inches. The limits give birth to the art.Here are 5 key limits (there are more) to face and embrace about yourself and others. Limits aren't necessarily limiting. Knowing your limits can set you free. And limits change. All of the categories below can grow/change/adapt during the course of your lifetime. The key is to honor your current limits and pursue growth/change in a humble and realistic way, not in a way that chases our culture's lie of a limitless life.Physical LimitsYou can make physical changes to yourself such as the following: gain or lose weight, build more muscle, dye your hair, take better or worse care of your body, get a tattoo, or undergo some kind of a surgery (some surgeries are healthy, some are not). Over five years I experienced and pursued a dramatic physical change: I went from being a 6'1" 120 lb. freshmen in high school who was the worst player on our football team to gaining a lot of muscle and playing some college football at 230 lbs. We can change some aspects of our physicality, but the body and genetics God gives us limit us. If you're 5'1", you're never going to play center in the NBA. If you're 6'6", you're never going to win the Kentucky Derby. If you have light, sensitive skin you'll never be that deeply-tanned Italian guy with slicked back hair in a speedo in the cologne ads. The sooner you embrace your physical limits, the sooner you can fully enjoy your physicality.Historical Limits (or, Story Limits)You didn't choose to be born. God chose to birth you, and some version of a mom and dad produced your birth. You come with a history. There's a story, a generation, that came before your birth. And there's the story of your early childhood, events that happened that you couldn't really influence. All of this is your history. It's part of your story. And the best path is to embrace your history and let God redeem it, rather than pretend the limits of your story aren't there. If you grew up without a dad and come from a generational line of absent fathers, you can't change this reality and you will have "issues" in your teens, in your twenties, in your marriage, etc. because you never knew the safety and intimacy of being in the arms of your dad. Embrace the limits of your story, bring it all before our Redeeming God, and watch the art he will make of your life.Relational LimitsYou are a relational being because you are created in the image of a relational God. But you have relational limits. There's a limit to your relational energy and how many relationships you can healthfully handle. I'm only just now starting to see this. I'm a pastor, which means my job is relationships. I have a lot of relational energy and I love people, I enjoy having a lot of relationships. This will always be true of me. But I'm bumping against my limits right now, discovering that I need to find a new way to be in relationship with God, my wife, my three sons, my local friends, my church, my friends in other cities, etc. I need to take a look at my relational limits, otherwise I will burn out and won't be able to carry on in healthy relationship with those who matter most to me. We all have different capacities, different sized plates, when it comes to relationships. Take an honest look at your relational capacity and take some extended time to pray and think through your relationships, ask God (and a good friend) to give you wisdom on how to best approach your relational limits. Even Jesus had relational limits. He was intentional in how he gave time/energy to the crowds, to the 72-ish extended circle of disciples, to the 12, and to his inner circle of 3.Talent LimitsYou can't be good at everything. Unless you're Leonardo Da Vinci, you can count on one or two hands the number of things you do especially well. God created you with unique talents, curiosities, and passions. The more you can embrace these limits and bring increased focus and energy to that handful of talents you do have, the better off you and our needy world will be. If you're great at designing buildings, raising children, writing books, selling cars, or cooking food, do lots of that with your life. The best authors focus their writing on a few specific topics or genres where they have expertise, rather than attempting to writing 100 books about 100 different topics they know only a little about.Financial LimitsYou make a certain amount of money each month, have a certain amount of money saved/invested, and have a certain amount of financial obligations you must meet each month. Work with these limits. A few weeks ago I looked at a home for rent and learned from the landlord that he charged a monthly rent I could not afford. I looked him in the eye and told him what I could afford, which was substantially under what he charged. It was freeing to know exactly what I could pay, to honor this limit in my conversation with the landlord, and to attempt to persuade him to pick me as a tenant based on other criteria, and to the leave the outcome in God's hands. To my great surprise, the landlord accepted my limit! When you know you financial limits, you live life with great freedom, you know what decisions are financially responsible and so you move forward freely within your limits, and sometimes big surprises come your way that overflow your limits.ConclusionThere are many more limits we could talk about (Time Limits, Emotional Limits, Geographical Limits, etc). This is enough for now. Here's your question to explore: What will it look like for you to face and embrace these 5 key limits?